Back in the day, a heterosexual marriage was the default social construct, and the bedrock institution of Western society. A man’s wife was more to him than just the keeper of the home, and the guardian of the children. She was also his rock of support, and closest confidant. After enduring the vicissitudes of earning a living, sometimes under the spectre of risking life and limb, he arrived home. After he partook of her culinary prowess, he unburdened his troubled soul on her. Not surprisingly though, he soon developed a listening ear himself, to commiserate with her in her toil.
Now, to be sure, both partners had their own social circles. The nature of these, however were quite different. The woman, being more emotional in nature, knew how to easily develop friendships amongst her relatives and neighbours in various social settings. Some examples of these were family gatherings and PTA meetings. Her husband, on the other hand, kept the company of a small number of his closest chums at work, play, or even the house of worship. And yet, he most often remained somewhat aloof and emotionally distant from them. He had a noticeable lack of any deep soulful connection, for that was reserved exclusively for his wife. As one writer put it, men were “raised to swallow their emotions until they can spew them out all over their romantic partner and nobody else.”
That is how things used to be
Since then, especially after the rise of feminism with its resultant divorce industry, the apple cart was overturned. This former mode of living was almost completely cast aside, save in the most conservative societies. Men going through the divorce wringer have an especially difficult time connecting with other men going through similar circumstances. I have heard of many of these men. After being devastated by the divorce industry, they found it nearly impossible to find a support group or another resource to help get them through their personal storm. And even after finding them, oftentimes they feel as if they had just come up against a wall of apathy and resignation. And sometimes, they even caught a measure of scorn to go along with it.
Back in November 2021, while the world was still in the throes of the COVID-19 pandemic, many people were locked up in their homes, with only limited real-world social engagement. It was only natural then, that men had suffered more than their female counterparts from this isolation. This led them to focus even more of their attention on their partners. The writers of the American comedy television program Saturday Night Live (SNL) took note of this phenomenon, and came up with a skit entitled, “Man Park”.
I see where the (obviously women) writers were going with this one. Emancipated from the need to marry, due to having already smashed the corporate glass ceiling, many women have instead found companionship in their pet dogs and cats, who offered them the same emotional benefit, but without all of the neediness and drama. So it is not a very huge leap to going from there to comparing a boyfriend or partner to their dogs, complete with their own man park, in which they can be ‘re-educated’ into becoming more emotionally attached to their fellows.
A man can’t be changed into something he isn’t
While I did not find the skit particularly amusing, I wasn’t offended by it either. Comparing people to animals is fair game. Even the Bible does it, and it’s been a staple of our modern culture as well. The issue that I have with this is the blurring of classifications. We have learned after many decades of trying to get chimpanzees to speak, that we should have been trying all along to learn their own language instead. In the same vein, men are not – and never will be – as emotionally adept as women.
The upshot of the sketch, however, is the idea of a meeting place for men. That is always a good thing. And so, in a nod to SNL, a few men who have tasted the bitter pill of divorce have set up a little ‘play area’ of their own, in the form of this website. Here is where we can meet, greet, vent, network with, and encourage other men (and women) who are going through unwanted divorce. Together, we can explore this brave new world of upended social engineering, destroyed homes, and alienated children. Here is where all of the lost and confused souls, and those of us who care about them, can hopefully quit stumbling around in the darkness, and finally find our way.
Welcome, then, to all of you!